


Don't Be Sorry

by FanGirl09



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Comforting Alec, Crying Magnus Bane, Depleted Magic, M/M, Magnus Bane Feels, Magnus Bane Has Panic Attacks, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, POV Alec Lightwood, Panic Attacks, Protective Alec Lightwood, Stress, Vomiting, Warlock Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 12:17:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13951392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanGirl09/pseuds/FanGirl09
Summary: Overworked. Overtired. Overwhelmed. Magnus Bane may be an incredible warlock, but there's only so much that he can take.





	Don't Be Sorry

Smiling, I stride up to the doors of Magnus’ building. It’s been a long week, lots of missions and training, and I’m ecstatic to get some time alone with my cheery Warlock boyfriend.  I run a had gingerly through my hair as I approach the loft door, attempting to fix it at least a little bit. Raising a hand to the wood I knock, however the result isn’t quiet steps approaching the door, it’s the sound of something glass smashing. My eyes widen. “Magnus?” I call.

Suddenly the door is flung open, revealing a disheveled and flustered looking Magnus. “Oh my, Alexander,” he gasps, swinging the door back closed after I step inside, pivoting and striding deeper into the apartment. “I’m so sorry,” he says softly, turning and striding back towards me, “I completely forgot that you were coming tonight.” His eyes widen as he starts pacing in front of me, rambling. “I-I’ve been so busy this week with countless things, a-and I’ve been all over the place with this and that and-“

My eyes wander around the loft as he paces. The place is a mess; empty glasses, half eaten plates of food strewn around the room, pillows on the floor - an overwhelming feeling of anxiousness hangs in the air. My eyes catch a shattered glass on the ground by the cupboard, liquor pooling on the floor. Magnus must’ve dropped it when I knocked on the door. I turn my gaze back to Magnus, who’s still ranting, his eyes flitting around the loft as mine were. With every passing moment his face grows more anxious, his hands buried in his dark hair. “I-I-I-“ he stutters, suddenly pausing. His eyes seem out of focus and his breathing hitches.

I take a step forward as he sways a little bit, sucking in a shallow breath. “Are you okay, Magnus?” I ask, holding my hands slightly up in front of me.

His eyelids droop as he sucks in another breath. “N-no,” he stutters, “I-I’m-“

Suddenly his head drops back, body falling limp. “Magnus!” I step forward as he crashes against me, pinning him to my chest. “Magnus?”

His eyes open halfway, staring at the ceiling out of focus. “I’m so dizzy…”

I sigh sadly. “Come on Magnus, you need to lie down.”

He shakes his head against my chest. “I must k-keep working, Alexander,” he puffs with irregular breathing. “I-I must.”

“Magnus, you need to lie down. You’re just stressing yourself out, you’re clearly exhausted, and you’re wearing out your magic.” He closes his eyes as I scoop him up and walk towards the bedroom.

“Alexander…”

“Magnus  it’s okay…”

“Alexander,” he says more firmly, opening his eyes. He swallows thickly. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

My eyes widen. “Oh, oh! Okay, um,” I stutter, letting him get his footing. He stumbles into the bathroom and the sound of his retching fills my ears. I press my lips together and follow cautiously, lightly pushing the door open to reveal Magnus doubled over the toilet. His stomach heaves and tears leak from his eyes. I sigh again, kneeling beside him on the tile floor. “Hey, Mags,” I say softly, rubbing his back. His stomach heaves again, and then a few more times after that before he flushes the toilet and slumps against me. I push the sweat slicked hair off his forehead and press a kiss there instead. He closes his eyes and rests his head on my shoulder. I pull him against me as I get to my feet and carry him to the bedroom. His breathing is still irregular and it worries me slightly. “Can I stay with you, Magnus?”

He nods against my chest and a smile turns up the corner of my lips. I stand, walk into the bedroom and lay him on the bed lightly, watching as he turns onto his side and curls into himself.

“Mags…?” I ask quietly, clammering onto the bed beside him. His head turns to meet my gaze, but at the concerned look in my eyes he averts his own in embarrassment. “Magnus, there is nothing to be embarrassed about… look at me…” He doesn’t look at me. I place my hand on his shoulder and run my thumb over the fabric of his shirt. “It’s okay to be stressed, Mags, it’s normal. You’ve sapped your magic and exhausted yourself by running around for your clients and you’ve obviously been drinking because you can’t relax, which is what made you sick,  and now you’re all dizzy and weak because of all that combined with being completely overwhelmed. I get it…” He still doesn’t look at me. “Magnus?”

His shoulders shudder beneath me and he chokes out a breath. His breathing is shallow and choppy and he’s shaking. I jump off the bed and hurry around to kneel in front of Magnus. “Hey, hey, hey… it’s okay, Magnus…” I whisper. His hands are clenched, covering his face as he escalates into a full blown panic attack. I place my hand lightly on his side, but he flinches, so I move it to cover his left hand. I massage both hands until they open and his arms relax, revealing a tear stained face and a stuttering chest. “It’s okay, Magnus… relax, sweetheart….”

I run my thumb over his cheekbone as his breaths start to come a little slower. “Can I…?” I whisper. He nods against my hand. I return to my previous spot, except this time I wrap my arms around Magnus and pull him against my chest. For a while I just play with his hair and whisper reassurances to him while he calms down. Once his back stops heaving from crying and his breathing returns to normal he slowly turns over to face me instead. Eyes droopy and exhausted, Magnus curls into my body and buries his face in the crook of my neck. Smiling to myself, I sigh contently and hold Magnus tighter.

“I’m so sorry that you had to see that, Alexander…” he whispers weakly.

“No, Magnus, don’t be sorry… I’m here for you when you need someone… please don’t hesitate to call me when you feel that way…” I whisper back.

“Okay..” comes his small voice.

“Okay.”

The silence stretches on and on before Magnus breaks it. “Thank you, Alexander. I love you.”

I smile and press a kiss to his head. “I love you too, Magnus.”

And with that, Magnus closes his eyes and falls asleep in my arms, with me not far behind.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little fic :) As always, feedback in welcome and appreciated! Thank you for reading, let me know your thoughts :)


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